My MetacognitionThis sample of my work shows my ability to use my imagination to twenty years later, and to come up with my own fantasy. This was the most fun assignment for me.
The steps that I took to produce this work were planning, drafting, and of course, revising. It took me a couple of tries, but I finally got the story right. AT first I didn't have enough details, and the story seemed pretty boring. After I added more sensory details, and had some imagery and dialogue, the story improved a great deal. I think this piece illustrates my ability to do the following things especially well: using my imagination and organizing the paragraphs. It showed how well I could create a picture in someone's head with just a few sensory words, and make them feel as if they were actually there. If i had more time to work on this project i would have added more details and came up with a better ending. I never got to finish the actual story, it just got cut off before i posted it here. I would have fixed my dialogue so that it would flow better and be more engaging. I could probably use a little more help in how to make things flow easier. The sentences seemed a little choppy, and things kind of just happened, and not gradually. I could use some help in planning and brainstorming. On MyAccess, I just started typing without any planing whatsoever. That wasn't a very smart idea :/ It would have been easier to come up with a story if I had planned first. |
My Fictional Narrative I was riding my bike and on the way happened to pass by the dump. I smelled rotten food, and little presents left by some dogs. While i was riding by, I saw a little opening in the fence with just enough space for me to slip inside. Filled with boredom, I decided to go explore the dump. I was checking out a broken television, when I saw something shiny in the corner of my eye. I turned around and saw it under a pile of trash. I moved the trash over and brushed off the dirt, revealing a weird machine with many knobs and buttons. I pulled it up, setting it upright and stared with amazement. It was a time machine. I knew i wasn't supposed touch it, but this feeling of excitement came over me, and pressed the big red button. I had no idea this was the biggest mistake that could end in death.
I was spinning, being blinded by bright lights, with a tingling sensation running up my back and through my fingertips. It finally ended and I was in the future; 2032. There was smoke everywhere, streets crammed with cars, and trash covering the ground. I looked around and saw posters.... WITH MY SISTER ON THEM. They read, " Bow down to your awesomeness. Queen Emma Gluski." I just stood there, staring with wide eyes at what my sister had become. I just kept staring, and out of nowhere this lady comes up to me and asks for some spare change. I figured, what the heck, and pulled out some quarters. She was semi-tall, deep black hair covering her face, and very dark brown eyes, almost black. She brought her head up and looked straight into my eyes. "Asiana?" she asked. " How'd you know?" I said in amazement. " It's you, well me. Ok, It's the future you." she explained. "What the fudge balls?!" I screamed. " I'm a hobo lady asking myself for change?! I thought I was going to be the governor of California!...... no offense or anything." "You, well, I was the governor, but your little sister took over and threw me on the streets. Do you still tease her? She is still mad from all the times I've made her cry, and this is what happened to our world." she explained. "She's gone to the dark side... DUN DUN DUN." " Well, she always did want to live in a castle..." I said "She doesn't. She still lives in your house. She kicked your parents out for never buying her what she wanted." She answered back. "What?! Where are they?" I asked. She took me to this small little cabin and opened the old creaking door. Inside i saw my dad laying on the small dirty couch and my mom cooking in the world's smallest kitchen. They told me that Emma was going crazy. I had to stop her and that I had to make her right again. They then showed me to Emma's "castle." It was our old condo covered in purple and glitter, and had 2 "Scooby-doo's" standing guard outside. My mom started screaming and running in the opposite direction, distracting the dogs for me. I snuck inside the purple, sparkly door and stopped in shock. I saw my pictures spray painted with " I HATE YOU". I had no idea my teasing would lead to this. We always messed with each other, but this, this was just awful. I had to apologize right away. I started running up the stairs then stopped. What if she recognizes me? i thought. Well, its worth a try. I ran up the purple carpeted stairs and turned left. I saw Emma's pictures covering every inch of the wall, as if it was wallpaper. Before i knocked on the door, and i slowly turned around to see my room. My door was painted black, and it looked old and disgusting. I cautiously opened the door a teeny bit, silently praying it wouldn't creak. I gasped in horror. My bed was flipped over, the windows were black and broken, and all of my Bieber posters had mustaches drawn on them. I can't believe she hated me this much! I ran out of the room straight into the two scooby-doos carrying my mom away. They turned around, and i ducked. Thankfully they didn't see me. I walked down the hall back to Emma's room, and knocked very quietly. I heard footsteps and the door opened robustly. She was very tall and thin still, and had very light brown hair. She had big brown eyes and very, very, very long curly light brown hair. "What the-?" she said. " How are you here? Wait- why are you here?" "You know who I am?" i asked "Well duh. Your my big sister. Our, well, was." She said with a nasty look. "Stand here for a second." While I was standing at the end of the hallway, there was silence. Out of nowhere, the lights go out and all I hear is a vociferous alarm. I felt someone grab me. One took both of my arms, and another took my legs. I was being carried down to somewhere. And the next thing i knew, I was tied up laying in a cold dark room. I looked around |